My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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