Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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