Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's never too late to be topless.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
