just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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