Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
