I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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