it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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