Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
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