How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
