we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
