I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
