Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
