dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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