were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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