I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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