Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
