i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
