fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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