I feel like I'm in dance class right now
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize