You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My Higher Power is John Stamos
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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