I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
