Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
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Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i think i just lost a toe
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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