Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
