Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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