This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
