Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
