HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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