everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
