I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
