This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
