apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
