you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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