yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
