Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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