There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
