Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
