We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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