guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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