But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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