i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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