I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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