I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
