youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Randomize
