I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Small penises have feelings too.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
