Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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