You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
