i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dicks are not precious.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
