Small penises have feelings too.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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