the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize