I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
