i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
