How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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