Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
