i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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