Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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