My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
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In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
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I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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