I cockslap morals
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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