i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
