Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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