im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
